Two Simple Rules for Great Mornings (Even if You Have Children)
I hope you enjoy this article by my friend and colleague, Abby Medcalf.
If mornings are easy for you, you’re never late for anything and you’re always in a good mood when you leave your house at 8:00am, then you don’t need to read this and you can go back to your perfect life (and I’ll try not to hate you).
For the rest of you, who feel like you’re ready to pull your hair out by 8:00am, I can help. I’m not going to promise that you’ll love mornings from now on (I’m not that crazy), but, if you employ these two simple rules, you’ll find that mornings can be a pretty good way to start your day, even if you have children.
Rule #1: Start with Enough
You wake up in the morning to the sound of your alarm clock blaring by your bed. Your very first word of the day is a groan and your first thought is that you didn’t get enough sleep. This is no way to start a day: you’re already “behind;” you already don’t have “enough.” Do you know what this kind of thinking does to you? We feel the way we think. So, if you’re already thinking that you’re tired, you didn’t get enough sleep and that you hate mornings, then you’re going to start your day feeling impatient, frustrated and resentful.
I want you to start training yourself to stop these thoughts in their tracks. Instead, I want you to notice the thought and shake it off. Tell yourself that you’re going to have a good morning and get your head into a healthy place where both you and your amount of sleep are enough for today.
Rule #2: Have an Intention of Loving Service
Generally, there’s a “tone” in mornings that centers on “getting stuff done.” This applies mostly to women or moms, but men and dads can be included here too.
This focus on “checking tasks off a list” creates frustration, high expectations, anger and, most damaging, controlling behavior. Yes, there are things that need to happen in the mornings, but I want you to stop and take a minute and think about why you’re doing all this. It’s because you want everyone to get where they need to go, with everything they need to get it done. It’s because you love them. The problem is that this loving motivation can get lost in the morning.
Instead of focusing on “getting stuff done,” I want you to focus on patience and kindness. I want you to set an intention of loving service. From this mindset, you’ll be more self-aware, relaxed and thoughtful. Your mornings will transform.
When you’re in a state of “crossing things off your list,” you’re in a controlling mind frame. When the people around you feel like you’re trying to control them, they act passive aggressively (or just plain aggressively), get defensive, ignore you, or any number of other behaviors you don’t like. If you think about it, when someone is trying to control you, you probably act just like they do.
Have you ever walked down a street and saw someone coming towards you and felt your heart rate speed up or crossed the street to get out of his or her path? You don’t do this with every person coming towards you on the street, so why this person? It’s because you picked up on an energy they were giving off. You picked up on their intention. Your family members and loved ones pick up on your intentions too. So, set the right tone and makeover your mornings into connecting family time.
If you’d like more free tips and effective strategies for feeling more connected, fulfilled and confident in your relationships, check out her website at www.abbymedcalf.com.